17 1/2 Weeks

Here we are, sitting at 17 and 1/2 weeks pregnant. We are almost halfway done. By Friday, we will be! I am very pleased about this fact. Pregnancy has been, so far, a most challenging event. While I have not had the physical drawbacks at all (minus the headaches) I have had the emotional ones. I am not one that normally just gives in to my emotions. I have a "bubble". Everything that is good and right and is happy goes in my bubble. Everything else stays out. It works rather well for me. If I have bad thoughts or thoughts that just aren't constructive, they aren't allowed in. This has worked wonders with our deployments we've gone through. Well, let me tell you...hormones don't like this way of thinking. I have found myself attacked this past two weeks like crazy! I have the craziest thoughts, Blake seems to reallly not like me (these are the hormones talking), I am lonely, I can do nothing right and the tears. I can't even explain to you the tears. I have NEVER been a crying type person. If I get angry, I pretty much ignore you for an hour, then either come and talk to you or forget about it. Now, all I seem to do is cry. I feel like I'm a huge whiney crybaby! Well, I decided that that has to stop. I know that a certain amount of it is the hormones. I am not going to be able to help bursting into tears over the stupidest of things. I can, however, take control of the other thoughts that plague me. They don't need to be in control. I decided that starting today, I choose to be happy. Not dancing around, singing all day happy, but content happy. I know my husband loves me to pieces. There is nothing I can do that will drive him away. I have been giving him such a hard time lately and I feel so bad. I want him to come away from pregnancy liking it...not dreading if it will ever happen again. I think, so far, my new attitude is working. Granted, I've only been awake for an hour, but I think it's going to work! Poor Blake! He is ever so good to me. What I would do without him, I just don't know!!

So, this is my 3rd of the month picture. I am still not showing, but as I look at the last four months, I guess I am bigger. I kind of just look like I am fat, but that's okay. As Blake reminds me daily, I am not fat, I am pregnant. I think by the next 3rd of the month picture, I will be showing. That's exciting! The baby and I have been listening to music every night. Blake is on night shift, so this works out well! So far, I've gotten a reaction from the baby when I listen to these piano jazz hymns my mom sent me. The baby will actually move when they start playing! Blake says "What if that means the baby doesn't like Jazz?" I figure the baby is going to deal, since it gets him/her to move! The baby moved, like, 4 times last night alone! I figure if I'm driving him/her insane, at least it's to hymns, right?? We also listen to Bach, Beethoven, Handel, Mozart and Liszt. We sometimes like to get a little crazy and throw in some oldies, but not too often.

My goal today is to clean the rest of my house. Blake's cousin Erica is coming on friday, and I am super excited. She is our first houseguest besides of my parents! She has a tdy in Luxumburg and is coming early to stay the weekend with us. She is a nice taste of home! It's always nice to see family. So, I've been working at getting the house clean. She doesn't really care. She knows how we live. Not too messy, but not emaculatly clean, either. It gives me something to do, though. I am calling it "fall cleaning". I've also been looking up lately recipes with veggie's in them. If you have any idea's, I'm more than welcome to them! I'm not a big bean person..you know, I'm just not a veggie person. It's been difficult to find ways of eating them. I like broccoli and greenbeans. Eating healthy is so difficult. I am up for any idea's anyone has :) So, I'll end this encredibly long blog with my thought for the day. You have to choose happiness. It's like Natasha's blog about joy. You have to choose it. The rainy days will never end if you don't make an effort for them too!